Letters to Fanfiction
by Silverridge1739
Summary: A whole bunch of random letters from the flock to fanfiction readers.
1. Max

Fanfiction-

Please stop writing ridiculous stories about me and Fang...

I think he's getting ideas. NOT COOL!

Insincerely, Max


	2. Fangnotfnick

Seriously Max?

BTW, I am NOT emo, I do not talk a lot, and why do you people keep making me fight with Dylan? Sure, he's a total jerk, but seriously, I swear I only kick his sorry little butt once or twice a week. You guys make it sound like I do it every freaking day!


	3. Iggy

To all of you idiots who are amazed I can actually type-

GET A LIFE

Of course I can type!


	4. Nudge

Do you guys think I talk a lot? Really I think I don't talk that much, I mean, what kind of person talks 24/7? I don't! I mean, I have to sleep right? And who talks in their sleep besides Gazzy? He farts in his sleep too! Isn't that, like, so GROSS? And then there was this one time- right. I have to go now, Max is threatening to roundhouse me if I DON'T GET OFF THE FREAKING COMPUTER RIGHT NOW!

Well, bye!


	5. Gazzy

I FART in my sleep? Wicked awesome!

Can you do that?


	6. Angel

Please, all of you who keep writing about me as a horrible little sociopath, get a life! That's not even half of what I do! It's more like 3/4s!


	7. Total

CAN I HAVE SOME ORDER IN THIS PLACE?


	8. Maximum

Fanfiction-

Does anybody know anywhere 6 avian Americans and one avian canine American can like, totally blend in? No? I didn't think so. If anyone sees a totally hot supermodel teen with wings (may answer to Dylan) please kick his sorry ass for me. -in the movies, people would say 'nothing personal', but this, this IS VERY PERSONAL!


	9. Igster

Hey fanfiction stereotypers-

can you please stop writing stupid stuff about me and Ella? She's cool and all-but you guys have some really weird stuff...

Also-don't ask how I can read it. I just can.

And really- Igster?


	10. Fnick

I read it for him. Just in case you were wondering.

Seriously, Fnick? We've been over this!

Also, have you ever smelled toxic fumes? Well, they are _nothing_ compared to Gazzy.

Whew, that guy's got stink.


	11. Fashion Queen

Hey peeps! Whaddya think of my new name? Fashion Queen! Oh yeah! Plus, really Gazzy? Black and white? That would clash in s many ways! Has anyone ever gave you the 411 on fashion? Well its about time! So, first, just FYI, black and hot pink go great together, but if you do black and light pink it's just plain ugly! Also, you might want to shower every day, unlike Max who always smells like she rolled in a pigpen (please don't tell her I said that) and then another really cool color combo is...sorry, am I talking too much? Everyone always says I talk a mile a minute, but how would that even be possible? And I don't talk that much, do I? I mean, come on...at least I talk -unlike Fang (don't tell him I said that either) I should really stop saying things that would get me totally pulverized. What do you think? Anyway, I'd better go! Everyone is standing around me and they look really irritated...wonder why? Is Jeb here?


	12. MaxnotMaya

Heyo random citizens of the world-

Dr. Hagaan Daz has been spotted in eastern Russia, so all of you law abiding bird kid helping folk out there please CHOP HIM UP INTO LITTLE TINY PIECES AND INCINERATE THEM! Was that too dramatic? Well I am _sorry_ but he KILLED FANG!


	13. fang

I totally agree with Max. I mean, without me, the world would probably blow up.

Because I know everything, yes?


	14. Igman

Okay maybe I do like Ella. But even if I do ITS NONE OF YOUR FRIGGIN BUISNESS! Jeez.

Max says she has a surprise for me tomorrow..I hope she doesn't try to cook again...oh dear god we might all die from food poisoning. It's better if the flock leaves the cooking to me. Because that's all I'm good for apparently.


	15. Mother Max

{I'm not even going to MENTION that extremely offensive title...what, did you think we named ourselves those ridiculous things?}

Anyway, Iggy, I forbid pessimism from anyone but me. You're great at all sorts of things, not just cooking. If you make me get all Mother Teresa, I swear I'll kill you!

Mother Teresa, Mother Max...SO NOT FUNNY


	16. Fangalicious

hahahahahahahahaha

Mother Max...you people actually made me laugh.

Oh my god, Mother Max...wow


	17. Death by Max

Now that's more like it people! And it's what you're gonna get if you call me Mother Max one more time!

Anyway, if you want a little bit of a status update on the flock, here's what you're gonna get-

We are in **********. Right now, it's 3 am, and I'm wondering what the heck I'm doing writing this stupid letter to Jeb so he can send it to some random person to publish it. The flock is perched around me in this giant oak tree, north of ******.

Hope that answer all your questions...but I bet it didn't!

-Not you mother Max


	18. The White Knight

Does anyone know where I can find sulfuric acid, toxic waste, and/or anything that explodes? Oh yeah, and some of those roasted peanuts! Man are those good!

Also shrimp cocktail with maple syrup, and cake batter. RAW! Mmm can't get enough!


	19. Wishing I was Normal

Eww! Iggy, that's like so gross! Raw cake batter? And what would you do with sulfuric acid? Also, I heard Fang talking about how we might take our tattoo certificates next um, Monday, I think, and then we're gonna go get real tattoos! I'm going to get a rainbow, or a unicorn, or something happy on my shoulder, or my stomach. I wonder if Max will let me get my ears pierced...


	20. Emo Dude

PEOPLE I'm not emo. Or goth. Or anything like that STOP STEREOTYPING

and crap I didn't think Nudge heard that

*changing date*

that's better

mwah ha ha

okay that was soo lame

-fang out


End file.
